2 years with nothing

Have you ever been in love with someone about 2 years without saying your feelings to him???

This is happening to me!!!!!

Yes, I'm in love with someone that soo close to me (but we're far away now, he was moving out). And the worst thing is I'm still in love with him even we're miles apart.

I know, I know.

It sounds crazy for you but this is the truth. and the worstest (only if i can use this word) thing is he NEVER mentioned it.

He NEVER realized about my feelings.

How poor i am, right????

Well then i think about it untill my head spinning and deadly got nothing.

I couldn't find any words to describe about what things that had been stayed for years in my heart.

Its just came out everytime i talk or chat with him on facebook. Just like the fireworks at the new year's eve.

But when we're lost contact, i didn't feel such a terrible or sad or any other desperate things.

I'm completly fine and i'm gonna dating someone.

then we're connected again, and that feelings come again. and i'm starting to throw away any guys that has been close to me.

I'm totally into him !

What's wrong with me actually?

Am i really in love with him?

What feelings that i had to him ?

Oh my god..........
maybe he's my brother that had been lost about 17 years??? I think i should ask my mom or

i think i should go to the physiciater?

x((

wish me a happy sunday

Sunday, November 15 2009

Wow, it is a beautiful day I think but that doesn't beat up my mood.

I feel such a looser today maybe because it is my periode (well, I guess you know what I mean).

Last morning I was fighting with my mom and it is caused by something not important.

Then my bestiest texted me and ask me to go out this afternoon.

but few hours ago he texted me again and cancel our plan without any reason. OMG, its sooo crappy..

So, i decide to sit in front of my notebook, listening to Colbie Caillat, thinking and writing..

I actually didn't know what I have to write, I can't get anything in my thoughts.

I'm just feeling so dark and dead end.

And thank God, my niece just text me and ask me to go shopping.

Its so helpful. But, how can I got money when I just don't wanna talk with my mom.

huhhhh......

Maybe I should try, I really need to go out.

Wish me have fun and enjoy this shopping. :D

morning dew

Saturday, November 14 2009

I'm just awake, I grab my phone and I found his name. He called and texted me. I'm so freaking out.
I can't even tell how wonderful this morning fo me. I really miss him. FYI, he's my umm.. i don't know.


i just like him


I admire him so much and we often spent time together while we're still on high school without saying 3 words 8 letters. :)

Now, we're college student. He was moving to the capital city and i'm still here with my really big hopes in my heart.
Hopes that he will come back for me and say those stupid words which I really wanted to hear.

My friends told me to stop hoping about him, the asked me to move on and just find the it boy.
But I just can't. Deep in my heart, I know that I belonging to him and I can't deny it easily.

Someone tell me to not to stop trying to get him when in my heart sure about him even if everyone's think that I'm the stupid one.

Maybe not at this time, maybe next week, maybe next month, or maybe next year. Its all about time.

Even if one day he still couldn't be mine., I won't regret it because I already try and fight for my love.
I hope I can make it clear earlier...... :))